Running away

I have come to a place in this journey with Dad's failing health.


The walls, the ceiling, the floor all are closing in on me, or I just don't want to be with the people I love.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Am I running away because I don't want to face the inevitable?

Is it a phase?

Might it be that I was sure I was going to wake up form this bad dream but I have learned it will not happen?

Am I just being irrational?

Do I feel family and others just don't get it? I hear them but I don't understand.

Can I have some help from GPS, please?

A part of me is sorry I feel this way. Maybe this is part of the journey, the test.

All bets are off.

Just as parenting is not learned from a book, dealing with the death of a parent is the same.

You can write notes, but the unexpected is the norm.

I cry out for answers.

In return there is silence.

Maybe that is the answer.