The size of your world

Your big world has been drastically reduced.

You no longer can get in your car and drive to the American Legion Post to meet up with the rest of the members of the honor guard.

There is no short trip to the barber shop in the shopping center. Not even the chance to stop at the car dealership to ask a question about your "caddy."

Nope.

This is now your world: A walk of 70 feet from the bedroom to the kitchen table. There is a shorter distant for the living room stop as well as the bathroom.

You voice your displeasure by snapping at your caregiver.

You know the one ... you courted her and married her in months rather than a years. The one you have danced with through good, bad and hell and back.

She takes it in stride. She even uses her awesome ability to be the comedian she has been for years to calm you. Guess what? It works. 

The husband smiles. He even thanks her and apologizes.

I think he even realizes the wife's world shrank as well.

Gone are the days of the long walks to the downtown library, to church, the hospital chapel and shopping center in the north end of the town. She loves her walks. They are legendary.

The son who lives out of state hears about sightings of his Mom from his friends via Facebook.

She can walk 15 miles in a day. Although since she has had to stop the walks, Mom says the wear and tear on her knees and hips was telling her to cut back.

Now her excursions are trips to get the paper and groceries at the supermarket just up the street. She also makes short trips to do banking and other small business stuff.

The man and woman have worked out a pretty good routine.

The container for urine hangs on his walker, which stands next to the bed. His strength is enough he can stand and "void his bladder" as he tells his son.

But he is growing weaker. It takes longer to stand up to use the walker or to get out of his chair at the kitchen table. His wife has to help even more. She is doing more of the lifting.

All this makes the son more concerned. 

He sees the toll it has taken on her. He sees it in her eyes and the facial expressions. There is no way to know how she feels. All the child knows is that he is concerned for both his parents. 

The son also feels guilty. His world is the world we all know. Work, children, parties, vacations and all the other freedoms you have when the body's warranty has not expired.

The three battled on.

The battle has been 11 months but it seems more like 11 years.

The Korean Conflict veteran fights the good fight. He is trying to beat back this nasty medical monster that has hit him in multiple ways.

The doctors work to make him better, but the slow process of elimination of the cause has allowed the demon disease to take a stranglehold.

An upcoming procedure to widen his esophagus more as it enters the stomach is the goal. That is what he is playing for this time. The liquid diet is getting in the stomach. But it is not enough nourishment. Not even multiple times of gulping runny cream of wheat, runny oatmeal, energy drinks, even hot chocolate is not enough.

And a feeding tube is not considered an option yet.

You can see his bones.

Now he is starting to retain fluid. It looks like "love handles" on his waist. The muscles in his legs are very hard.

A scan of his heart shows fluid starting to build. This is the same heart that he gave so much to his family and others.

This is now added to labor breathing.

He sleeps a lot. It is not deep sleep most days.

There are many times of getting up to go to the bathroom, or as Mom says, needing to go either Number One or Number Two.

Many days will find them get a couple hours of rest after the sunrises.

Then it all starts over.

The father, mother and son feel there is a chance to rebound. But they know the end could be coming.

A roller coaster it is indeed. That leads us back to the world.

Small, medium or large it may be but the three are connected to family. The three views can be used to get a glimpse into love.

You will never have too much love in this world.

Love never ends.